11 main signs your husband doesn't value you: Can you turn the tables around? - HeTexted (2023)

A healthy relationship is centered around mutual understanding, love, and compassion.

But, when there is a turbulent time during the marriage, he might neglect and abuse you emotionally, with or without being aware.

Thus, this article will explore 12 signs that your husband doesn’t value and how to overcome this issue:

1. He doesn’t give you enough (the needed) attention

11 main signs your husband doesn't value you: Can you turn the tables around? - HeTexted (1)

It’s possible that your husband can’t give you the wanted and needed attention because of work or some other issues.

But, if he ignores your needs and prioritizes something else then it means that he might not be valuing you.

It’s true that a relationship is a symbiotic process. You constantly give and take in marriage.

And if he constantly fails to make time for you to listen to your problems or listen about your achievements, he’s choosing to not value you.

2. He doesn’t show physical affection unless he feels like it

When your husband has strong feelings for you, he tries to show affection and intimacy through physical affection.

Hence, if he constantly refuses to cuddle or be intimate when you require it, then he might put his needs and prioritize himself.

Thus, if you always feel rejected emotionally and physically, try to address this issue.

Don’t jump immediately to conclusions because he might be tired or not feel like cuddling or even having sex.

So, to reflect better on this issue and to know what type of action to take, a therapist or marriage counselor’s help is needed.

3. He criticizes you a lot and undermines you

Marriage is easy only when both partners will work on their issues and help each other.

Otherwise, everything will turn into something toxic if there’s a lot of criticism and less action to help one another.

My relationship failed when he started to criticize me even about the way I sipped the tea.

With time, it became something unbearable because even my presence would annoy him at some point.

So, when a guy starts to lose interest or is already cheating, he will start to criticize you constantly and won’t consider your feelings at all.

4. He isn’t interested to spend a lot of time with you

11 main signs your husband doesn't value you: Can you turn the tables around? - HeTexted (2)

The word NOT INTERESTED makes the difference.

If he can’t and isn’t available to spend time with you for a certain time then that’s understandable because life happens.

(Video) 8 Signs Your Partner DOESN'T LOVE YOU (Even if You Think They Do!)

But, when he chooses to do something else for his own fun and enjoyment and not do anything with you, this means that he is not valuing you.

For example:

If you like to watch an outdoor movie and you’ve been planning this for months but he chooses to go out with his boys, this is something wrong.

He is prioritizing spending quality time with other people or even by himself over you.

5. He makes you feel guilty for expressing your needs or feelings

Gaslighting you by making you doubt your thoughts and feelings is the fundamental sign that your husband doesn’t value you.

In the end, this is the guy that you’ve chosen to spend your life for better or worse.

And if he can’t bear to validate your feelings or needs then this means that he’s slowly failing to fulfill the vows.

Usually, a man with low self-esteem avoids validating his wife or partner’s needs and feelings to make himself feel superior.

In the meantime, he might overreact and threaten or insult you.

In this situation, it’s better to seek professional help from a licensed therapist or a relationship coach to understand his behavior/needs.

6. He tries to turn you into someone else

11 main signs your husband doesn't value you: Can you turn the tables around? - HeTexted (3)

Marriage is a sacred agreement when you create a truthful relationship and respect one another.

Yet, if you feel unvalued and you’re not loved for who you are that’s when internal issues start and you should take action.

Remember that people change, even when in a relationship or while maintaining a marriage.

Even if you do everything for him, it might come to a point when’ll lose interest and not value you for you.

  • He might criticize and mock your style. He’ll try to tell you how to style your clothes or your hair.
  • He will constantly compare you to someone else. Whether that woman might be someone he’s interested in or already cheating with.

7. He doesn’t acknowledge and celebrate your achievements

A partner, no matter what, if he has feelings for you and values you, will try to encourage you and celebrate your wins.

Yet, if he’s jealous of your achievements and always changes the topic when you tell him something exciting, he ultimately undervalues you.

So, the American author and coach Tony Robbins claim that when you build your partner’s achievements, you create a healthy relationship.

And to achieve it, he recommends both partners create security within themselves and in their relationships by working on their issues.

8. He emotionally abuses you

If your partner tries to humiliate you for whatever reason that is a part of emotional abuse.

Also, if your husband doesn’t value you, he’ll try to yell at you or mock you if you ever made a little mistake.

(Video) He’s Stringing You Along? Text Him This Now... (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

Whether this mistake was a language slip or any type of error, he would make sure that you won’t forget it, until you feel humiliated and crushed.

To get a grip on this situation, you should talk to a trauma specialist.

Tanya White a specialized psychotherapist will help both of you to go to the root of his anger, trauma, and everything in between.

9. He doesn’t support or defend you when necessary

A good husband or partner will always have your back even if things go wrong.

But, when he never supports you for anything and doesn’t defend or talk well in front of others, he doesn’t value you.

Let’s take this example: If someone bad mouths you and he never reacts.

If what they say isn’t true and he doesn’t speak the truth about his wife, it means that he doesn’t value you enough to do it.

10. He doesn’t encourage you to achieve your aim or goals

Hmmm, a basic sign that your husband doesn’t value you enough.

In this case, he might call your aim or dreams childish and unimportant.

Maybe he will try to hinder your dreams or process if you’re working toward something new.

So, if you feel like he’s constantly uninterested to listen to your goals and hinders those, try to talk it to him.

If you’re supportive of him then try to require the same from him.

If he doesn’t cooperate then try to ask for help from a counselor or you might try to read books regardings this issue such as:

~” Relationship OCD” by Sheva Rajaee

11. He won’t try to find a mutual language to communicate

This sign is clear like water that he isn’t valuing you.

If he refuses to compromise and find a middle ground then he doesn’t value you enough to make the relationship work.

For example, he doesn’t value your time.

He constantly says that he’ll get back at 8 pm but gets back past midnight, which means that he is doing it on purpose.

In addition, he might forget to text you back to let you know and this makes things worse.

Now, you’re in a serious relationship, that’s why these issues are serious and you should let him know that this is impacting you negatively.

What to do when your husband doesn’t value you?

11 main signs your husband doesn't value you: Can you turn the tables around? - HeTexted (4)
(Video) This Romantic Gesture Is Actually a Major RED FLAG | Matthew Hussey

If his behavior is bothering you and straining the relationship the first thing you should do is address the issue and communicate it.

Hence, try to reflect on the aspects of his behavior that make you feel not appreciated or valued enough.

1. Strengthen your bond.

Look out for ways that would strengthen your bond and what is causing him to not value you.

Take a step back and write down or journal your feelings. Link your emotions and feelings with his actions.

For example:

For more than 10 months, he hasn’t been vulnerable and wouldn’t talk about his feelings.

This is making me feel unimportant and like I am not capable and the right person to have a personal conversation with.

2. Request to have a conversation about your relationship.

Ask him to set a date and talk about your relationship. You might even write a few questions and ask him.

Like, where he sees himself in this relationship and if there’s something that he would change.

Also, be prepared because the result won’t always be positive, and try to put yourself in his shoes and work on this problem together.

3. Practice more mindfulness and self-love.

Be focused more on enhancing self-love. This will help you a lot to turn things around.

Once you build self-confidence, you won’t jump immediately to conclusions and won’t have the victim mindset.

4. Never sacrifice your value or justify his actions.

Don’t stay in this relationship just to make it work.

If your husband isn’t interested to change then all of this won’t matter in a few years and the relationship will end.

To make even the slightest change, both of you should be able to reflect on your actions and help one another to change and make it work.

5. Try to disconnect from one another for a period.

If it’s necessary, try to maintain no contact for some time and work on yourself separately.

Consider this as a short vacation to work on yourself and see what’s wrong.

If you have kids, it will be a bit harder but try to consult also a marriage therapist and it will help you to apply the grey rock method.

As a final point: How do you know that your husband doesn’t value you?

You’ll know that your husband doesn’t value you when he doesn’t respect your well-being and there’s a barrier between you two.

Shortly, you’ll feel somehow unpowerful in this relationship.

(Video) You are a clown

You’ll feel unheard and everything that you do (an activity together), will seem unnatural and hollow.

To conclude, if your husband doesn’t value you, it will leave a big scar in your life.

First, focus on yourself and practice self-love.

When you learn to love yourself and value yourself, no one can break that power.


Callisto Adams

Was This Helpful?

Related Posts

  • Why do men pull away? 11 exact reasons why men pull away

  • 11 solid signs you’re dating the wrong person

  • 11 obvious signs he’s talking to someone else

  • Does my fwb have feelings for me? 11 obvious signs your fwb is catching feelings

    (Video) Transitioning to Syndications & LP Tips


How do you know your husband doesn't value you? ›

He is no longer affectionate with you, physically or verbally. He no longer makes sweet or romantic gestures toward you. He doesn't say "I love you" anymore. He still says "I love you," but something about it feels hollow or forced, like he's just going through the motions.

What is emotional abandonment in marriage? ›

In the context of a marriage, the feelings of neglect, being left out, and not being heard are collectively referred to as emotional abandonment. It occurs when one partner is so preoccupied with their own concerns that they are unable to notice the struggles, concerns, or problems their partner is experiencing.

How do you know when a man doesn't value you? ›

He always mocks you or disrespects you

However, if your partner mocks you and disrespects you no matter what you have to say (even when you're trying to be serious), it's one of the biggest signs he doesn't value you.

What signs to look for if your husband is cheating? ›

  • They're reluctant to make any big joint purchases.
  • They "forgot" to mention a night out.
  • The phone goes everywhere with them—even the bathroom.
  • And, they're constantly texting.
  • When you talk, they rock back and forth.
  • They're more focused on their appearance.
  • They overshare.
  • They're always on social media.
Jul 23, 2021

How do I make my husband realize my importance? ›

5 tactics to make your spouse value you
  1. 01/6Here's how he/she will value you. ...
  2. 02/6Treat them the way you want to be treated. ...
  3. 03/6Stop giving in so much. ...
  4. 04/6Appreciate the moments when you are respected. ...
  5. 05/6Give importance to your own hobbies. ...
  6. 06/6Meet your friends.
Jul 8, 2022

What is considered disrespect of a husband? ›

Someone who isn't honest enough or always yells at their partner can be easily identified as a disrespectful husband who has no regard whatsoever for his life partner. Such blatant disrespect can not only be hurtful but can cause stress and anxiousness to the partner.

How should a husband value his wife? ›

Don't Do Anything to Hurt Her

One way to respect your wife's feelings is to make a commitment to not hurt her – physically, mentally, and emotionally. If you have been married for a while, then you already know what she likes and dislikes. If possible, avoid doing things that she does not like. It's called respect.

What neglect does to a wife? ›

Neglect in marriage occurs when one (or both) parties fail to be there for themselves and their family in marriage. It usually leads to an emotional separation or estrangement and can lead to broken homes within record time.

What is walkaway wife syndrome? ›

Also referred to as the "neglected wife syndrome" and "sudden divorce syndrome," walkaway wife syndrome is "nothing more than a term used to characterize a person who has decided they cannot stay in the marriage any longer," says Joshua Klapow, Ph. D., licensed clinical psychologist and creator of Mental Drive.

What is the lonely wife syndrome? ›

It is also sometimes referred to as 'sudden divorce syndrome' or 'neglected wife syndrome. ' Feeling lonely in a relationship can sometimes contribute to the emotional disconnection that ultimately leads to the end of a marriage.

What is micro-cheating? ›

Micro-cheating is a term used to describe small, seemingly harmless actions or behaviours that may indicate a partner is emotionally or physically involved with someone else.

How do you know if your husband doesn t find you attractive anymore? ›

Here's how to tell your partner is not sexually attracted to you: Your spouse or partner avoids going to bed with you at the same time. He avoids looking at you when you're naked. He no longer spontaneously touches you.

How do you know if a guy is faking his love? ›

6 signs a man is pretending to love you
  • 01/7Here's what he may be doing. Not all men are the same. ...
  • 02/7He is not affectionate. ...
  • 03/7He doesn't listen. ...
  • 04/7He doesn't make plans. ...
  • 05/7He is not reliable. ...
  • 06/7He doesn't prioritize you. ...
  • 07/7He doesn't share his feelings.
Feb 9, 2023

What causes depression in married men? ›

Studies show that depression in married people can also come from stress in the relationship itself, often referred to as marital stress. Poor communication, a lack of support, shame over things like a change in employment status and other triggers can all be associated with depression in marriage.

How does a cheating husband act? ›

It's possible your husband is a cheater if he always seems to find an excuse not to hang out with you, whether you want to see a movie, eat out, or simply spend some quality time together. Has he suddenly become so busy that he never calls or texts you, or has he just stopped wanting to go out with you altogether?

How a guy acts after he cheated? ›

Cheating husbands may be defensive over the smallest things. They may seem unusually sensitive or touchy about things that seem harmless to you. If you ask an innocent question about what they had for lunch, they may snap at you and accuse you of being controlling or demanding.

How do you make your husband realize he's losing you? ›

How To Make A Guy Realize He Is Losing You
  1. Let Him Know That You Are Prepared To Walk Away. Save. ...
  2. Do Not Let Him Take Away Your Efforts In Vain. Easier said than done! ...
  3. Prioritize Yourself. ...
  4. Remind Him That He Is Not Your Only Option. ...
  5. Make Yourself Busy. ...
  6. Go For A New Look. ...
  7. Take A Break From Replying. ...
  8. Do Not Try To Please Him.
Dec 19, 2022

How do I make my husband worry about losing me? ›

  1. Don't Hope That He Will Change and Finally Start Appreciating You. ...
  2. Stop Coming His Way the Whole Time, Match His Efforts Instead. ...
  3. Get Busy Pursuing Your Own Interests. ...
  4. Restructuring Your Relationship Will Make Him Worry About Losing You.
Oct 7, 2020

What is a toxic husband like? ›

' Toxic, abusive partners don't want to take ownership (in situations where they objectively should) and will avoid doing so again and again. And, when they seem to take ownership, it's manipulative and over-the-top, with no change in behavior to support it,” she says.

What is the ultimate disrespect in a marriage? ›

Insulting and mocking a partner or making fun of you is a clear indication of disrespect, whether it is done directly to you or behind your back. You may also notice that they often fail to introduce you to their friends or colleagues or bring you into the conversation.

What are the 5 values in marriage? ›

These five qualities—friendship, togetherness, affection, other-focused, and shared spirituality—are often found in the people who describe their marriages as “happy.” These are the ways we love and desire to be loved—with a passionate, companionate, altruistic and spiritual love—manifested most profoundly in our ...

What a wife needs most from her husband? ›

She wants your affection and care.

Everyone wishes to feel loved. As a wife, she surely needs affection from her husband. In marriage, love and affection are exclusively the hallmarks of an emotional relationship. One thing is clear that a woman needs love from her partner in the form of affection.

What a man needs from his wife? ›

Like women, men want a life partner who will be trustworthy, faithful and reliable. They want a wife who will stand by their side and, considering divorce rates, it's no surprise that dependability would continue to be attractive.

What does emotional neglect look like in a marriage? ›

In a relationship or marriage emotional neglect is when a partner consistently fails to notice, attend to, and respond in a timely manner to a partner or spouse's feelings. In both instances, it has far-reaching negative consequences for the relationship.

What causes emotional detachment in marriage? ›

Having traumatic experiences growing up, including natural disasters, immigration to a different country, and going through life-threatening situations. Spending childhood in foster care or challenged adoption home. Experiences of emotional and/or physical abuse. Experiences of physical and/or emotional neglect.

When needs are not met in marriage? ›

Just because your emotional needs are not being met, does not mean you need to end the relationship. Rather, it means you and your spouse likely don't know how to meet your own and each other's emotional needs. So, it is more important for you to both learn how to recognize and then work towards meeting those needs.

What is silent divorce? ›

What is a silent divorce? The term 'silent divorce' refers to a state where there isn't obvious conflict, but nor is there much of anything else going on in a relationship. It is not sustainable in the long term.

What is deserting a marriage? ›

Marriage abandonment also called desertion, is when one spouse leaves the marriage without telling the other and with no intention of returning. In marriage abandonment, a spouse walks away from their financial obligations and all other contractual duties of marriage.

What is runaway marriage? ›

Elopement is a term that is often used in reference to a marriage which is conducted in a sudden and secretive fashion, sometimes involving a hurried flight away from one's place of residence together with one's beloved with the intention of getting married without parental approval.

What is stonewalling in a relationship? ›

What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.

What does contempt look like in a marriage? ›

About Contempt

It can take the form of verbal or non-verbal language, which can include sarcasm, mockery, and facial gestures. Often, partners are unaware of what they said or did, especially contemptuous gestures like an eye roll or chuckle that elicited their partner's wrath.

What is emotional detachment with wife? ›

A spouse that is detaching emotionally from their partner will need other things to focus on. This may mean that they become preoccupied with new activities, work projects, or hobbies. And they probably won't share much of this with you. Seeking emotional support from others.

How do cheaters communicate? ›

Cheaters will often use laptops and tablets, and even hidden apps, to communicate with a paramour. A new favorite place for texting is Google Docs. Your partner can claim to be working, rather than sexting with a new lover.

What are the levels of cheating? ›

For one person, it may be micro-cheating that turns into emotional infidelity, followed by physical infidelity. For another, digital infidelity may turn into physical infidelity. Someone who habitually cheats may go through different stages with each partner outside of the relationship.

What is true cheating? ›

What Is Cheating? Cheating, also known as infidelity, is when a person in a monogamous romantic relationship has an emotional or sexual relationship with someone else without their partner's consent.

Why do I feel like my husband isn't attracted to me? ›

In some cases, love can wane because one or both partners "let go" of their physical appearance. In some cases, attraction begins to dissipate because partners no longer make one another a priority. In still others, attraction wanes without a distinct, identifiable source, and couples find themselves growing apart.

Can you lose attraction to your spouse? ›

In reality, it's not uncommon in long-term relationships for attraction amongst partners to dissipate. There was once sexual attraction but the spark has died. If you've noticed that your feelings of attraction for your partner have faded, you're certainly not alone.

What does mentally cheating look like? ›

Signs of emotional cheating

You confide in the other person about the intimate details of your relationship troubles. You've become more detached and emotionally disconnected from your partner. You think about the other person all the time. You are less intimate with your partner.

What signs are not cheaters? ›

If you're also looking for your true love, here are four zodiac signs that are unlikely to cheat on you.
  • Taurus. Taurus is one sign that is least likely to cheat on anyone. ...
  • Cancer. Along with being protective of their physical spaces, they are also extremely protective of their personal relationships. ...
  • Pisces. ...
  • Scorpio.
May 26, 2022

How does a husband value his wife? ›

He nourishes a healthy emotional relationship with her.

Respect is a vital part of any relationship. It is a necessary aspect of a healthy marriage. Where respect is present, problems are negotiable, communication is helpful, and compassion is abounding.

How do you tell if your husband no longer finds you attractive? ›

Signs That Your Partner Doesn't Find You Attractive
  1. You're Having Less Sex.
  2. Your Partner Is Spending More Time Apart From You.
  3. They Are Putting Less Effort Into the Relationship.
  4. Intimacy Is Starting to Feel Familial.
  5. You're Fighting More Often.
  6. Have an Open Conversation.
  7. Spend Some Time Apart.
  8. Go Back to the Basics of Romance.
Jun 25, 2022

What is the value of wife in husband's life? ›

A wife plays a crucial role in her husband's life. Being thoughtful about him can go a long way. A supportive wife helps a man push his limits, achieve his dreams, and be successful in life.

What is the most important value in marriage? ›

Trust is the first value on this list for a reason. “Without trust, there is no foundation for a marriage,” Ross says. Having faith in your partner is an essential ingredient for a healthy and happy relationship.

What is most important to a husband? ›

Love Your Wife Unconditionally

The foundation of any marriage is love and trust. These two qualities go together. Loving your wife is one of the primary responsibilities of a husband. You must satisfy her emotionally by assuring her that you love, respect, and value her.

How do I teach my husband to value me? ›

5 tactics to make your spouse value you
  1. 01/6Here's how he/she will value you. ...
  2. 02/6Treat them the way you want to be treated. ...
  3. 03/6Stop giving in so much. ...
  4. 04/6Appreciate the moments when you are respected. ...
  5. 05/6Give importance to your own hobbies. ...
  6. 06/6Meet your friends.
Jul 8, 2022

What do husbands love most about their wives? ›

Husbands want more physical affection and touch from their wife — and not just sex. So cuddle up to him while you watch a show, give him a big hug and kiss hello, a back rub or some foreplay.

What is the value of a good wife? ›

A good wife exhibits both care and compassion. She is sensitive to the family's needs, and does her best to provide a solution. She understands when her husband is frustrated, and tries to make him happy. Her caring disposition makes sure the family does not lack in any aspect of life.


1. His Silence Means THIS! Do THIS When He's Been Distant
(Jonathon Aslay)
2. He STOPPED Texting Me...WHAT NOW?!?
(Stephan Speaks)
3. He’s Not Ready for a Relationship? Say THIS to Him… | Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy
(Matthew Hussey)
4. How to Re-Attract a Man After He Pulls Away (Powerful Way to Bring Him Back)
(Matthew Coast)
5. If He Said He Had a Great Time But He Didn’t Text…
(Matthew Hussey)
6. DO THIS & He Will Regret LOSING YOU... | Stephan Speaks
(Stephan Speaks)
Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Ray Christiansen

Last Updated: 05/16/2023

Views: 5605

Rating: 4.9 / 5 (69 voted)

Reviews: 92% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Ray Christiansen

Birthday: 1998-05-04

Address: Apt. 814 34339 Sauer Islands, Hirtheville, GA 02446-8771

Phone: +337636892828

Job: Lead Hospitality Designer

Hobby: Urban exploration, Tai chi, Lockpicking, Fashion, Gunsmithing, Pottery, Geocaching

Introduction: My name is Ray Christiansen, I am a fair, good, cute, gentle, vast, glamorous, excited person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.