It can be one of the most infuriating feelings not knowing if your crush likes you back. You’ve gotten to know him a little bit better and he’s all you can think about. All you want is to get even closer to him, maybe start a relationship with him.
But knowing if your crush likes you back isn’t always the most straightforward thing.
There’s the occasional time where it’s readily apparent you like each other and works out plainly and simply. The two of you start dating without any guesswork.
But, what if he’s hiding his feelings? How can you know whether or not he’s into you, or if he’s just not interested at all?
The last thing you want to do is make a wrong move and turn things awkward between the two of you.
Fortunately, while guys are pretty much walking riddles, there are some definitive signs to tell if he does like you, but is trying to hide his feelings.
It’s also important to note that these signs are the same whether or not you have a crush on him. You might not be interested in him at all, but want to know so you don’t lead him on.
After I run through these 14 indicators, let’s talk about some of the reasons why he might be hiding those feelings from you.
1) He tries to impress you
One of the biggest ways to tell if a guy likes a girl is to study how he behaves around her.
Does he change the way he acts when she’s around to try to impress her? If he likes you, he’s going to try to show off.
Depending on the guy, it might be in ways that are bold and attention-grabbing. Or if he is a shy guy and he likes you, it might be in more modest ways, proving that he’s capable, knowledgeable, things like that.
He’ll tell you stories about his life, where he’s traveled, the things he’s accomplished. Or he’ll brag and puff out his chest to prove to you he’s the best.
This is especially the case if you’ve just met him and he is already talking himself up.
The good news is, though, that his personality probably isn’t like that all the time, and once he has your attention, this kind of behavior should for the most part go away.
If he’s trying to impress you, it’s probably because he likes you.
2) He has flashes of jealousy
If you’re talking about an ex or one of your other guy friends, don’t be too caught off guard if your crush is suddenly really jealous.
Men have ingrained protection instincts that tend to show themselves in behaviors like jealousy. Women do, too. It’s a natural emotion that has always been a part of our psychology.
Men, in most cases, tend to display it more outwardly than women. Especially when it comes to other guys that are around the girl he’s interested in. He may feel slightly threatened by them, or upset that an ex mistreated her.
It’s only a normal reaction, and if your crush is acting like this, it’s pretty definitive proof that he has feelings for you.
3) He keeps strong eye contact
If he watches you like a hawk (not in a creepy, unsettling way), he’s demonstrating that he is very interested in whatever it is you’re doing or saying.
He doesn’t want to miss a beat, for fear of missing out on that perfect smile of yours. He’s keeping a sharp lookout for an opportunity to grab your attention, or a chance to make you laugh.
When you’re unsure if the guy you like has feelings for you, watch him to see if he’s watching you. He may be hiding his feelings, but his gaze gives him away.
And if you pay closer attention to him, he might just get the hint and be inspired to make the first move.
4) He slyly asks if you’re single
Asking somebody if they’re single is a pretty loud way to announce that you’re interested in them. Once a guy asks you this question, it’s clear that he wants to know if you’re available to date.
So if a guy is trying to hide the fact that he likes you, he’s going to do his best to get the information via other means.
He might try to deduce if you’re dating anyone by asking related questions. He’ll sleuth around the topic to see if you volunteer the information without him having to ask it.
If you get the feeling that he’s fishing for information about your relationship status, he’s probably into you. He’s trying to hide his feelings, but now you know that he likes you.
5) He’s always asking questions (and listening)
If a guy is asking you questions about details in your life, the way you feel about things, how you’re doing on a day to day basis, or anything that has to do with you, it’s because he’s interested in you.
Now maybe he’s just being nice or has a gregarious personality.
But maybe it’s because he really likes you and is hiding it.
How much does he remember about what you say? If he remembers a lot, it shows that he’s been listening to the answers you give him.
A man who listens is a man who cares, so he probably has feelings for you.
6) He gives you mixed signals
It’s going to be confusing to see your crush act so differently around you each time you hang out, but it’s a good sign that he likes you back.
One time he’s with you he might be sweet, kind, funny, and charming. But then the next time you see him he’s just the opposite: closed off, rude, defensive, or just can’t be bothered.
This is a great sign that he is struggling with his own feelings for you, and wants to hide the fact that he likes you.
He wants to play it cool, not seem too into you too early. He wants to play hard to get, to keep you guessing and trying to figure him out.
It’s probably working, too.
Just remember that his hot and cold swings are a huge sign that he really likes you but is trying to hide it.
7) He pushes against your personal space bubble
Maybe he tries really hard to sit next to you in group situations, or goes out of his way to hug you when you meet up or say goodbye.
If he laughs at your joke and touches your arm, or brushes your hand accidentally, he probably likes you.
Paying attention to these casual moments of physical contact can quickly reveal the feelings that he’s trying to hide.
If he’s pushing against your personal space bubble, he should be doing it in a respectful and appropriate way that never makes you uncomfortable. Grabbing, invasive, or groping hands that go too far without your consent are a big red flag.
This kind of behavior is far from okay and you should call him out on it. Avoid him if need be for you to feel comfortable and safe.
8) He’s always giving you compliments and doing nice things
Kind acts and compliments are a big way to tell if a guy likes you but is hiding it.
Some guys are just plain nice and will compliment every girl for something they appreciate about her. (More guys should definitely be doing this.) But if he’s giving you sincere, thoughtful compliments every time he sees you, he might just like you.
A guy who likes a girl is likely to go out of his way to do anything he can to help her out. If the guy you like is constantly offering his help and talents for you, he probably likes you back.
Even if he’s doing everything he can to hide that he likes you, he may give away his secret with his compliments and kind acts.
9) He jokes and teases with you
One of the reasons you like this guy so much might be because he’s so funny. He makes you laugh and giggle all the time, his humor and memes are always on point.
Teasing and flirting are very similar. A lot of guys flirt with girls by trying to make them laugh and being funny.
If he’s joking with you, it could be because he’s flirting with you. If he’s giving you a hard time and always teasing with you, he could be giving away the fact that he likes you.
10) He’s active on your social media
After the two of you have linked up online, you notice him liking all of your photos as you post them, replying to comments you make, or sending you memes out of the blue.
If he’s doing these things, it’s because he’s interested in you, and wants to participate in your online life as much as he does your day to day life. He’s showing you that he likes you.
Even if he’s trying to hide it in all kinds of other ways, this is a big giveaway. He likes you.
11) He doesn’t use his phone around you
Giving somebody your full attention shows respect and sincere interest. When a group of friends are all hanging out though, it’s normal to be on your phone, bouncing around between conversations, having laid back interactions.
If you notice the guy you’re into put his phone away when you spend time together, he’s giving you his full attention. He doesn’t want to be distracted from anything you have to say.
He may be trying to hide his feelings, but if he isn’t using his phone, it’s because you’re the most important thing to him at the moment, and he probably likes you.
12) Check his body language
Body language is a huge indicator of true feelings. No matter how hard he’s trying to hide the fact that he likes you, his body language is going to give him away.
Eye contact is a big way to tell if he likes you, which we already talked about. But he might also lean in towards you and keep his body focused on you. Or he might seem nervous, twiddling his thumbs or fiddling with things.
If he’s nervous around you, it’s probably because he has a pretty big crush on you.
13) He remembers everything you told him
Even when you don’t think he’s paying attention, or when you say things while talking to someone else, he might just be remembering everything you say.
He hangs off your every word, remembering every detail about you. If you catch him revealing that he remembers something obscure about you, even if you didn’t think he was listening, he’s giving away the fact that he likes you.
Even if he’s trying to hide his feelings for you, this is a surefire way to tell if he likes you.
14) He lingers when saying goodbye
Maybe he’s the last to leave, or you catch him saying goodbye for the third time without actually leaving.
He enjoys your company and doesn’t want to leave your presence. He soaks up every second of it and doesn’t want it to end. That’s probably because he really likes you and doesn’t want to say goodbye.
He could be a stone wall otherwise, an expert at hiding the fact that he likes you, but if you notice him lingering when saying goodbye, it’s a big giveaway of his true feelings for you.
So Why Is He Hiding His Feelings?
The reasons a guy is hiding that fact that he likes you could be because of any number of factors. Why a guy thinks he needs to hide his feelings is something personal, and has to do with what’s going on in his head.
It also has to do with what the circumstances are between the two of you and what’s going on in his life at the time.
That being said, there are some pretty common reasons why he might be hiding his feelings.
1. He shies away from commitment
A lot of guys are afraid of commitment. The idea of commitment can be scary and intimidating for him.
It’s a big reason why he might be hiding his feelings from you when he likes you.
If he reveals to you that he likes you, and you do like him back, there’s pressure for him to keep the ball rolling, to get to know you better. What comes next is a relationship, more responsibilities, marriage, kids, and the whole avalanche.
Of course, you know that having a crush on somebody doesn’t imply that any of those things have to happen, but maybe his brain can’t help but run down that long list of fears.
2. He’s intimidated
He might think you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen, inside and out. This might be intimidating to him.
Your prowess, independence, and irresistible allure could make him hesitate to make a move or even hesitate to show his feelings for you at all. It’s a strong reason to hide those feelings, at least until he’s ready to make a move.
If you’re impatient to get the ball rolling, you could try putting him at ease. Flatter him, flirt back a little bit, even make the first move if you think it’s something he could be into. (Hint, he’ll probably love it.)
3. He’s confused about how he feels
The two of you could be really close friends. Your current relationship could be mutually enjoyable and perfect the way that it is.
But maybe he’s afraid that if it’s so perfect–if he reveals his true feelings for you–the relationship will be ruined and you’ll be scared off.
He doesn’t want to ruin a good thing by giving away the fact that he likes you.
If his feelings keep developing and he keeps hiding them, it might be a good idea to bring it up with him. You can already tell that there’s something between the two of you, so why skirt around the subject?
Doing so in a kind, gentle, and non-confrontative way could lead to a mutual understanding and perhaps an even closer friendship.
4. He’s afraid of rejection
This is a pretty big one. Almost everybody is afraid of being rejected. It’s never a pleasant experience.
It’s that much more unpleasant when the rejection comes from a girl that you really like or a guy.
For him, the idea of being rejected by you is too painful to confront. He’d rather hide his feelings for you and love you from afar than deal with striking out and losing you. It’s an understandable feeling, especially if he’s naturally shy.
It’s possible that he also has been through a lot of trauma already, and is still trying to heal from a bad rejection, loss, or breakup. He just isn’t ready to make that first move, and so instead hides his feelings from you.
Takeaway
Understanding the reasons why a guy likes you but is hiding it is important to help you know what to do next.
If you see your crush clearly displaying one or more of the previous 14 signs, you can be pretty confident that he likes you back. But knowing he likes you back is half the battle.
Knowing what to do about it starts with understanding why he’s hiding his feelings. The previous 4 reasons why are a good starting point to help you understand your crush’s motivations for hiding his true feelings.
The only way you can really know for sure, though, is to bring it up directly. As you spend more time together, the two of you may naturally get closer, and those barriers will come down on their own.
Your natural attraction will bring out his feelings, and yours, and before you know it you might be dating your crush.
But if it seems like that wall just isn’t coming down, finding a good time to ask him about his feelings directly might be a good idea.
If you catch him off guard or seem confrontational, he might be embarrassed and scared off. But if you ask it in a kind way and explain to him why you want to know, it can clear up any confusion and reservations.
There’s a lot of different ways to tell if your crush likes you even if he’s hiding it, but if you want to take all the guesswork out of it, make the first move. You might just be surprised at how he responds.
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FAQs
How to know if a guy loves you but is hiding it without talking? ›
- When he looks at you, he can't help smiling. Once I was out with Sam in a cafe. ...
- He always finds excuses to talk to you or spend time together. ...
- He asks you a lot of personal questions. ...
- He remembers the little details about you. ...
- He always makes an effort to keep the conversation going.
Eye contact is one of the signs he secretly likes you but is hiding it. He constantly looks at you when you're not looking. When you look his way, he immediately pretends he isn't staring. Eye contact is one way to show that he is admiring you.
Can a guy like you but not show it? ›When a guy likes you but is hiding it, he'll find reasons and excuses to talk to you. That way, he can use these instances as opportunities to get to know you better, but they're under the guise of him trying to get other information about a different topic.
How do you test someone to see if they love you? ›- You feel safe with them. ...
- They listen. ...
- They acknowledge your differences instead of trying to change you. ...
- You can communicate easily. ...
- They encourage you to do your own thing. ...
- You trust each other. ...
- They make an effort. ...
- You know you can collaborate or compromise.
For example, he holds your hand, has his arms around you, hugs you, always sit close to you, etc. 2- He puts a lot of efforts to make you feel loved. He brings random gifts for you, sings a song for you on a special day, makes time to talk to you anyhow, makes sudden plans, etc. 3- He always listens to you properly.
How do you tell if a man is not interested or is hiding feelings? ›- Observe their body language.
- They pay attention to you.
- Eye contact.
- They make time for you.
- They quickly apologize when they offend you.
- Jealousy.
- They don't say much.
- They are afraid.
Hang around with other guys and express your interest in one of his friends, to make him jealous. Jealousy will compel him to confess his feelings for you and make him realise that you will not always be available. You can always be direct and just ask him about his feelings for you.
Does he secretly like me? ›Things You Should Know
Look for signs in his body language like eye contact and leaning in towards you while talking. He'll also initiate more physical touch between you. Study his behavior, including the time between text responses and how jealous he seems when other guys are mentioned.
The closer he wants to be to you, the more he probably likes you. This body language is a minute way that guys go for physical contact. People who are just being nice don't want to get closer and closer to another person. Instead, they'll keep a safe distance and might lean away if you try to touch them.
What feelings do men hide? ›As emotions such as fear and sadness are generally not as accepted, men might try to hide these from themselves and those around them. They feel that they should be able to cope on their own. Individuals might try to cope with 'negative' emotions in one or more of the following ways: Withdrawing from family and friends.
How do you tell if a guy has a crush on you but is shy? ›
- You Will Find Him Always Close To You. ...
- You Find Him Often Staring At You. ...
- You Get Gifts And Cards From Your Shy Lover. ...
- His Friends Tease And Nudge Him When You Enter The Room. ...
- You May Find The Guy At Your Hangout Joints. ...
- He May Look Out For You. ...
- He Will Try To Talk To Your Friends.
- He dresses up.
- He tells jokes.
- He changes his look often.
- He is conscious about his look.
- He stares at you.
- He makes eye contact with you.
- He helps you at work.
- He advises you.
- Look at the Bigger Picture. ...
- Remember the 90-10 Rule. ...
- Assume Good Intent. ...
- Replace “What If” with “We'll See.” ...
- Get Outside and Enjoy. ...
- Acknowledge Your Successes. ...
- Practice Self-Compassion. ...
- Learn to Let Go.
You feel like a complete individual
Both people are free to be their whole selves. Couples experience "true individuation and self-discovery" when they're truly in love, explains Carroll. In this way, you don't feel incomplete without them but rather that you're two whole people who work well as a team.
- He protects you.
- You are his priority.
- He wants you to be happy.
- He supports your dreams.
- He shows up when you need help.
- He tries to make you feel better.
- He is making plans for your future.
- He shows up with plans already made.
- He's generous with food. ...
- He'll pamper himself with you. ...
- He usually doesn't freak out, even when you think he will. ...
- He fawns over your naked body. ...
- He remembers things big and small. ...
- He stares at you. ...
- He fills his family in on the details of your life. ...
- He'll tell you as much.
When he's falling in love, everything is likely to become about her. He can't stop thinking about her and would rather be spending time with her than doing anything else. He may feel scared about the relationship and where it's headed, or he might just have a comfortable feeling about the entire thing.
What shows that a man loves you? ›If he truly loves you, you will simply feel it. You will see a consistent pattern. He will do things for you he wouldn't do for anyone else, and he will always respect you. And he will make it clear that he wants you in his present and in his future.
Can a guy be confused about his feelings? ›When a man is confused about his feelings, his behavior might be erratic. He might make you feel desired and give you all his attention during the 'hot' phase. Then he may pull away just like that and act cold when he feels like he's catching feelings for you.
How do you know if someone is denying their feelings for you? ›They talk about what if.
You might be having wholesome conversations with them and exploring the potential of a future relationship but suddenly they say that there is no point talking about it as things won't work out. This could be a sign that they are denying their feelings for you.
How long does it take a guy to confess his feelings? ›
Men take an average of 88 days (about three months) to tell their partner they love them, whereas women take an average of 134 days (four and a half months), according to a 2013 survey conducted by YouGov and eHarmony.
How do you tell if a guy likes you or is just kind? ›- He makes it a point to maintain eye contact. ...
- He seems awkward around you. ...
- He gauges your reactions. ...
- He talks about you. ...
- He goes out of his way to strike up a conversation with you. ...
- He regularly makes the first move. ...
- He always tries to be near you.
Men Need Love and Affection
In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.
In a relationship certain people can identify as "avoidant," meaning they have a tendency to shield their feelings from their partner. The reason behind this behavior is firstly to avoid burdening a loved one with personal worries, and secondly to self-protect from vulnerability.
How does an unemotional man show love? ›He wants to be physically close to you
For questions like how does an emotionally unavailable man show love, one of the correct answers is he loves being around you. He might not know it, but he loves being around you because he has feelings for you.
- Put yourself out there. ...
- Spend time with them — but don't go overboard. ...
- Find out what your crush is passionate about. ...
- Don't play mind games. ...
- Show off your personal style. ...
- Talk to your friends about them. ...
- Vocalize what you appreciate about them.
- Your feelings don't fade. ...
- You give them your full attention. ...
- You talk about everything when you're together. ...
- It's easy to make plans. ...
- You're open with each other. ...
- You've lost interest in dating others. ...
- Even chores are super fun. ...
- You want to introduce them to your fam.
He listens intently.
What shy guys lack in chattiness, they make up for in listening skills. They may not always be the ones leading a conversation but that doesn't mean they don't care. When he's nodding along, looking interested, or laughing at the right times, you can be sure he's invested in what you have to say.
- fishing for compliments by pointing out achievements and seeking validation.
- being controversial to provoke a reaction.
- exaggerating and embellishing stories to gain praise or sympathy.
- pretending to be unable to do something so someone will teach, help, or watch the attempt to do it.
- Stop begging for your partner's attention. ...
- Focus on yourself instead. ...
- Stop trying to control your partner. ...
- Examine your behavior. ...
- Ask what your partner needs. ...
- Provide positive reinforcement. ...
- Communicate. ...
- Consider therapy.
How do you stop thinking about someone who is interested in you? ›
- Figure out why. ...
- Focus on the facts. ...
- Accept instead of reject. ...
- Write it down. ...
- Find a positive distraction. ...
- Work on self-discovery. ...
- Prioritize meeting your own needs. ...
- Keep a healthy distance.
- Change up your routines. ...
- Get moving to get someone out of your head. ...
- Remind yourself about all the great things about self-love. ...
- Hang out with someone even better than a significant other… ...
- Focus on you instead of others. ...
- Write a letter. ...
- Go no-contact.
The simple truth is that guys are afraid of getting hurt. They may have experienced it in the past and are trying to avoid it in the future. They fear that by showing their feelings too quickly, they will scare away their partners or destroy what they have with them if things don't work out.
What to do when a guy is unsure of his feelings for you? ›A guy who is unsure of his feelings for you will most likely be looking for evidence that he's not the only one who has deep feelings. It would be a great idea to reassure him of your feelings and try to put his mind at ease with this. It could also work out great if you were willing to compromise with him.
Is he Confused about his feelings for me? ›When a man is confused about his feelings, his behavior might be erratic. He might make you feel desired and give you all his attention during the 'hot' phase. Then he may pull away just like that and act cold when he feels like he's catching feelings for you.
How do you know if he caught feelings? ›- You Often Catch Him Looking At You. ...
- He Always Seems to Gravitate Towards You. ...
- He Remembers What You Said in Passing. ...
- He Focuses on You. ...
- His Friends Say He Talks about You Often. ...
- His Mood Improves When You're Together. ...
- You're Often Smiling and Laughing Together. ...
- He Wants to Know What Your Future Plans Are.
- Stop chasing him. The first rule in the 'chasing game' is to stop chasing your man. ...
- Work on yourself. Save. ...
- Have a life of your own. ...
- Show limited interest. ...
- Don't lose it when he pulls back. ...
- Follow your passion. ...
- Set a goal in life. ...
- Love your unique self.
One of the most disappointing signs a guy is unsure of his feelings for you is that you're just not his priority. Examples include: patchy texting, unreliable behavior, blowing hot and cold, keeping the future undefined, and not paying much attention to what you say or feel.
Why do men give mixed signals? ›Men tend to give you mixed signals when they are either not interested and planning to keep you as backup, are confused about what they want or even playing around. This behaviour can be very frustrating and it gets difficult to deal with that hot and cold attitude. So, to deal with such annoying mixed signals.