There are many signs — verbal and non-verbal — that a man gives off when he’s deeply in love with a woman.
Some are obvious and others are harder to decipher, but one, in particular, stands out — the way he looks at you.
Whether it’s butterflies from seductive eye-contact from across the room or gazing into the eyes of a loved one, there’s more to locking eyes than many of us realize.
So regardless of how long you’ve been together, or if there’s a guy you think is in love with you but hasn’t confessed it yet, we’re going to cover everything on how a man looks at a woman he loves.
But before we get into the juicy details, let’s get a bit of background information.
What happens when we make eye contact and how does it lead to love?
What’s the science behind eye contact and love?
I recently read an article in the New York Times, about a woman and a man who fell in love after re-enacting a study formed by Dr. Aron, a psychologist who essentially formed love between two people in his lab.
If you’re thinking, “What, how is that even possible?”, don’t worry, I thought the same.
But stick with me here…
Dr. Aron wanted to find out whether two people could fall in love and form interpersonal relationships within a short space of time. He had strangers ask each other a series of questions (36 to be precise), and with each question, the conversation became more intimate and intense.
Finally, each “couple” in the experiment ended by staring into each other’s eyes for exactly four minutes.
Two participants were married six months later. Others, like the couple I mention from the New York Times, carried out a similar version of the experiment, and have fallen in love too.
And if that wasn’t impressive enough?
Other similar studies have shown that feelings of passion and love became prevalent after just two minutes of mutual gaze.
So what’s the link between eye contact and love?
Psychologist Linda Jackson explains that
“Maintaining eye contact creates a calming, connected state of being that, after 30 to 60 seconds, triggers oxytocin”.
This explains a lot — oxytocin, alongside dopamine are named the “love hormones” because they occur during physical intimacy such as hugging or having sex, and they help us form trusting relationships.
Another fascinating study found that when these “love hormones” are released, it causes our pupils to dilate — this makes us appear more approachable, trustworthy and increases our attractiveness to our partner.
So what does this tell us?
Well, every time your partner stares deeply into your eyes, he’s not simply admiring the color of them. A lot more is happening under the surface and it’s these natural chemical reactions that can make us fall in love, or indeed strengthen the love we already have.
Zick Rubin, a Harvard psychologist, found that couples who remained passionately in love, even after years together, maintained eye contact 75% of the time when they spoke (a considerable amount more than the average 30-60% of the time).
Now we’ve covered the facts — there’s no question that eye-contact and the way we look at our loved ones are linked with the love and affection we feel.
So how does a man look at a woman he loves?
Let’s get straight into these telling signs:
You know he’s in love if he….
1) He locks eyes with you
When a man is in love, he won’t be able to help but look you directly in the eye when he speaks.
Long gone are the nerves that might have made him look away before, now he’s comfortable with you and you’ll see this through his eye-contact. Regardless of what he’s doing, even if the most thrilling match of his life is on TV, if you ask him a question, he’ll tear his eyes away enough to look at you when he replies.
This shows that he not only loves you but respects you too.
We often associate the two — someone who fails to meet our eyes or even look up when we speak is considered rude and it gives the impression that they’re not interested in us or what we have to say.
So if he consistently looks you in the eye, even when he’s busy or distracted, count yourself lucky to have a man who so obviously respects and cares for you.
2) He smiles when he looks at you
If your man smiles at you when he looks over it means one thing — you make him happy!
That feeling of being on cloud nine never leaves when he’s with you, and for that reason, he can’t stop smiling.
You might be busying yourself in the kitchen or tucked up in bed reading a book and he’d still find reasons to smile when he sees you. This type of love is beautiful and it’s clear that he takes a lot of comfort and happiness from being around you. And, it’s natural to smile more when we’re in love.
Remember those “love hormones” we mentioned earlier?
When you smile, dopamine is released, alongside serotonin. Now, serotonin acts as a mild antidepressant, whilst the rest of the endorphins released to fight off stress and make you feel good.
So, there’s no mystery behind why he smiles when he looks at you — he’s in love and it makes him feel good (not to mention the positive effect it has on you, too).
3) He maintains prolonged eye contact
As we’ve covered, maintaining eye contact for a while has the power to make people fall in love and to keep that love going.
So, it’s only natural that when he stares into your eyes for minutes on end, he’s strengthening the love you share (out of instinct rather than choice).
Here’s the thing:
When a guy looks deep into your eyes, there’s a whole range of thoughts crossing his mind but he’s not always aware that he’s doing so.
Humans are naturally drawn to look at things we find visually appealing and to people that we love and hold affection for, which explains why he can’t take his eyes off of you.
Instincts are a powerful driver of human behavior, especially for men when it comes to relationships.
One of the most powerful instincts men have is the hero instinct.
If you haven’t heard of the hero instinct before, it’s a new concept in relationship psychology that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment.
Prolonged eye contact is a surefire sign that you’ve triggered this instinct in him.
To learn more about the hero instinct, watch this excellent free video.
James Bauer, the relationship psychologist who first coined this term, gives a terrific introduction to his game-changing concept. He reveals the simple things you can do starting today to trigger this very natural male instinct.
Here’s a link to the free video again.
4) He stares at you when you’re not looking
When a man looks at a woman he loves, he’ll do it whether you realize it or not.
We often think this only happens in the beginning, in the courtship stages. You’re on your first date and his eyes follow you as you walk to the ladies’ room. We assume this is out of attraction, and in the beginning, it is.
But what happens when you’ve been together for a while and he still finds any reason to look at you?
Quite simply, he’s appreciating what he has.
His feelings are strong, he knows he’s got a good thing going on, and just the sight of you makes him stop to remember how fortunate he is, how fortunate you both are, to have each other.
5) He notices the details of your face and body
Many women joke about the fact that men aren’t very observant when it comes to detail.
I’ve spent a lifetime surrounded by family members and friends (male) who never noticed that new haircut, piercing, item of clothing, new phone, you name it.
It’s not that they didn’t care, they just simply weren’t paying attention. Those changes didn’t catch their eye and that’s okay.
But a man in love will take notice of these things.
Because he’s not just looking at you, he’s studying you. He’s taking in everything about you, from the tiny mole on your back to the way your eyes crease when you smile.
So, when you make even the smallest change, he’ll see it straight away.
6) He looks at you compassionately when you’re hurt
Sometimes a look can convey more than words can.
Have you ever had a rough day, and I mean the type of rough day where all you want to do is curl up under the duvet and cry? Unfortunately, we all have them from time to time.
But have you ever had someone take one look at you, understand the pain you’re in, and their body language, touch, caring facial expressions, are all directed at comforting you?
Now, this happens early on in our lives with our parents. A mother sees her child fall over and within a minute she’s wrapped them up and cuddled them back to happiness. There’s lots of eye contact and physical touch.
A father comforting his daughter after her first heartbreak, even without words, can make her feel safe and calm. If he doesn’t look her in the eye when he’s telling her everything will be okay, she probably wouldn’t believe him.
The same happens when you’re in love.
You might notice him look at you with concern when you’re sad or ill, his eyes reflecting the care and sympathy he feels for you. He’ll look over at you often to check that you’re okay.
Recently, my grandmother (in-law) spent a few weeks in hospital — it was very touch-and-go for a while and naturally we were all worried.
Thankfully, she recovered, and once back home, grandpa was in full swing. Caring for her every need, by her side day and night. And the one thing he never did was take his eyes off her.
You might say it’s out of fear, worry, or preoccupation because of her health scare, and part of it is, but there’s also an intense look of deep, unconditional love that he has reserved just for her.
7) He looks at you as if you’ve known each other for ages
Familiarity – That strange feeling of having known someone for a long time when you actually just met.
It’s not something we can easily pinpoint, but researchers think they’ve found the answer to this abiding mystery of our lives.
Are you ready for a surprising truth? If this guy looks at you as if you’ve known each other for ages, he could be your soulmate.
How so? Well, soulmates often experience a strange feeling of familiarity when they meet.
But how can you know for sure he is your soulmate??
The truth is:
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8) He looks at you differently from other people
Between loving couples, there are certain “looks” reserved for each other, which convey hidden messages.
You know the type when the annoying neighbor pops around and your partner gives you that look from across the room. You instantly know what he’s thinking and he’s read your response just from your eyes.
Or when your whacky aunt is sharing her latest conspiracy theory and you both exchange a look whilst holding back your laughter.
Where would we be without these silent forms of communication? They certainly make it easier to get by in certain situations.
The truth is:
Over time, you will have developed non-verbal cues of communication. It’s bound to happen, especially when you live with someone and get to know them inside out.
Not only does it allow you to say the things you’re both thinking without anyone else noticing but it evokes feel-good feelings. You have this secret method of communication that shows how well you know and understand each other.
9) He can’t help but admire you even when you look your worst
Another sign of love is when he can’t keep his eyes off you even when you look terrible. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been up puking with morning sickness for hours or you’ve had an adult acne breakout.
A man in love sees through all those layers right down to the person standing in front of him, who he loves regardless of her appearance.
After all, isn’t that what love is about?
If it was based solely on attraction, not many people would stay in love for long.
So if he looks at you with affection, even when you’re at your worst, it’s clear that he loves you deeply and doesn’t care whether you look good or not.
By now, you’ll know for sure how much he loves you if he looks at you in these ways. The signs above are all ones which you can look out for.
But, it’s also important to note other non-verbal cues which also give away his love and affection…
He’ll also show love with his body language
Having strong eye contact is just one of the many ways a man will show his feelings. And when it comes to love, there are a few other signs to look out for:
1) He can’t keep his hands off you
If a man is in love, he’ll struggle to keep his hands to himself. But I don’t just mean sexually.
He’ll want to touch you all the time, whether it’s holding your hand, putting his arm around you, or even just resting his body against yours as you sit side by side.
The truth is:
Touch is important in many ways — it makes people feel safe, comforted, and it’s a great way to express love without having to find the right words.
2) He mirrors your body language
Mirroring is when he copies your movements, speech, or facial expressions, without realizing it.
You rest your elbow on the table, he does the same. You fold your arms, a few minutes later he’s folded his. You can test this one by consciously performing an action, and seeing whether he imitates it.
Or use a word frequently that he doesn’t normally use and see if he starts adopting it into his conversations.
So why do people mirror those they love?
Well, it’s believed that mirroring makes us more likable. It makes us appear more empathetic to the person we’re talking to and builds trust. It’s basically like saying, “Hey, I’m similar to you. We can get along”.
This forms trust and puts people at ease. It’s another body-language sign that gives away our true feelings about someone without us being aware of it.
3) He always positions himself facing you
Facing you achieves two things:
He can look at you properly, and as we’ve covered, how a man looks at a woman he loves shows a lot.
And secondly, he can be open to you. He’s showing that he trusts you and that you have his full, undivided attention.
If he was sitting to the side of you, or slightly behind or in front, there wouldn’t be the same level of interaction and intimacy that’s felt when someone sits directly opposite.
But, if he does find himself sitting alongside you, he’ll show his love by putting his arm around you or resting his hand on your leg.
4) He’s always close by
Staying nearby is another subtle sign that a man is in love — he never wants there to be too much distance between you.
You might find he sits right next to you, legs touching or he puts his things in your personal space, like his phone or his drink — this way he naturally gets to stay close to you.
And, what do you know, when he’s close by, he can also maintain that important eye contact and connection, so it works both ways.
When we put together the facts, the psychology, and the science behind eye contact and love, it’s obvious that there’s a connection.
And as if that wasn’t interesting enough?
When we add in all the stuff that can’t be explained, the subtle signals we give with just a glance, butterflies in our stomach, how a look can stay with us replaying in our minds, it all shows that so much love and emotion can be conveyed.
All of which is great news for you if your partner ticked some of the boxes above.
So, regardless of whether he’s a romantic who professes his love daily or more reserved with his affection, the way he looks at you will give it away, every time. Just don’t forget to look out for those subtle signs.
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There may be many signs a man is falling in love you with, but 3 hidden signs a man is falling in love with you are he checks your social media accounts, likes to spend his free time with you, and talks about making future plans with you or even being your husband one day.Can you see love in someones eyes? ›
Actually, science has proven it so! Certain chemicals (or endorphins) that produce the emotion of love can be emitted through emotions expressed in the eyes. There are physiological changes in the eyes that occur when love is expressed between two individuals.How does a man look at you when he loves you? ›
If a man is in love with you, he tends to hold eye contact or stare at you for longer. Since eye contact between two people who are in love can be intense, some men may feel vulnerable when caught in this gaze.How a man shows love without saying it? ›
For example, he holds your hand, has his arms around you, hugs you, always sit close to you, etc. 2- He puts a lot of efforts to make you feel loved. He brings random gifts for you, sings a song for you on a special day, makes time to talk to you anyhow, makes sudden plans, etc. 3- He always listens to you properly.What makes a man feel connected to a woman? ›
Men Need Love and Affection
In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.
Watch for Their Eye Gaze
Like touch, eye contact triggers the release of oxytocin. When someone is attracted to you, they subconsciously will try engaging in lots of mutual eye contact. They do this to feel closer to you, and because they are interested in you and what you are saying.
For starters, oxytocin and dopamine — the “love hormones” — have an effect on pupil size. Your brain gets a boost of these chemicals when you're sexually or romantically attracted to someone. This surge in hormones appears to make your pupils dilate.How do you know if a guy thinks you're special? ›
They Make You Feel Like You're The Only One Around
A good sign that someone thinks you're amazing is the amount of focus and attention they put on you and only you. "They don't want to talk to anyone else," Hershenson says.
“Eye contact is an intimate and vulnerable act, so intense eye contact can be very meaningful,” says Fraley. “Deep eye contact, or holding your gaze for at least four seconds, may indicate feelings of love.” Bonus points if they smile in your presence too.What is the look of love in eyes? ›
The look of love originates from people observing that when people were attracted to each other, their pupils dilated – giving that wide-eyed look. Our pupils naturally dilate throughout the day to adjust to the level of light and to help us focus.
- He's generous with food. ...
- He'll pamper himself with you. ...
- He usually doesn't freak out, even when you think he will. ...
- He fawns over your naked body. ...
- He remembers things big and small. ...
- He stares at you. ...
- He fills his family in on the details of your life. ...
- He'll tell you as much.
Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.How soon do guys know they're in love? ›
Men take an average of 88 days (about three months) to tell their partner they love them, whereas women take an average of 134 days (four and a half months), according to a 2013 survey conducted by YouGov and eHarmony.Can a man love you and not tell you? ›
The right man will not have you wondering because whenever you think about if he loves you the answer will always undoubtedly be yes. He'll do everything he can to show you how much he loves you even if he doesn't say it out loud.Can a guy love you and not show it? ›
The reason behind him not expressing his feelings for you could be his apprehension about your reaction, fear of rejection, or just his introverted nature. No matter the reason, if you feel your partner does not express his love, read this post to understand the subtle signs that indicate he loves you.How do you know if a man is emotionally attached? ›
One clear sign a man is emotionally connected to you is when he truly cares for you. When you reciprocate his feelings, there is a better chance of him getting emotionally attached. He also tries to show his romantic side in his way. He might do it by talking to you for hours or taking long walks with you.What are signs of true love between a man a woman? ›
The signs of true love in a relationship include security, respect, and understanding. In fact, true love in its real sense involves how you act in a relationship with someone. The signs of true love between a man and a woman are about meeting each other's expectations, respect, and care.What are the 5 bonding stages for a man? ›
Appreciation, infatuation, attraction, impression, and conviction are the 5 bonding stages for a man.What is intense attraction to someone? ›
Lust. This describes intense feelings of passion, desire, affection, or attraction toward someone.How do you know you have love eyes? ›
This is an extremely subtle cue, but there is evidence that when an individual is sexually interested in another, the pupils of their eyes dilate. Although most people might not even notice pupil dilation, the look of love is definitely in the eyes.
Look for signs like sustained eye contact and dilated pupils. Typically, this means that someone has feelings for you. Watch for subconscious grooming, like when he touches his hair or fixes his tie. Pay attention to whether or not he mirrors your own body language.What is intense eye contact attraction? ›
Intense eye contact that indicates attraction is called gazing. When someone gazes at you, they maintain longer than usual eye contact. This usually means several seconds of them looking at you. They want you to notice that they are looking!What happens to you when you see someone you love? ›
High levels of dopamine and a related hormone, norepinephrine, are released during attraction. These chemicals make us giddy, energetic, and euphoric, even leading to decreased appetite and insomnia – which means you actually can be so “in love” that you can't eat and can't sleep.How do men show they have feelings for you? ›
A man who already has feelings for you will have the urge to talk about you with his friends. He could even start a topic or tell stories about you. How much he admires you, how strong you are, etc. Don't be surprised when his friends smile at you and comment, “Oh, so she's the one!”How can you tell if someone thinks you like them? ›
- 1 They make eye contact with you more often.
- 2 They seem nervous when you run into them.
- 3 They communicate with you more frequently.
- 4 Their friends act differently when you're around.
- 5 They remember little details from conversations.
- 6 They give you lots of compliments.
Men often express feelings outwardly through body language such as physical gestures, facial changes, muscle tensing and gritting teeth, instead of expressing those emotions with words.What is a love stare? ›
The love gaze is the staring into each other's eyes by two people who are falling or in love. A study was conducted to determine the gaze of someone in love versus someone in lust. Those in lust tended to look at the body, while those in love looked at the face and in the eyes.What kind of woman do men fall in love with? ›
Women who know what they want in a partner and know who they are as a lover are the type of women men fall in love with. “What makes a man fall in love really comes down to a deeply emotional connection. When you feel comfortable with someone who is open and vulnerable, you are more likely to fall in love.How a man's mind works when he's in love? ›
Researchers have scanned the brains of people who are madly in love and found a heavy surge of dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the brain's reward system that helps people feel pleasure. Dopamine, along with other chemicals, gives us that energy, focus, and obsession we feel when we're wild about someone.What triggers emotional attraction in a man? ›
To build emotional attraction with a man, be an active listener, share personal experiences, and show affection using his love language. A man feels emotionally attracted to someone when he feels understood and loved for his true self, so don't be afraid to be vulnerable—it might encourage him to open up to you.
The average time for men to fall in love is 88 days, while those same feelings of true love take women 134 days. Another dating site, Elite Singles, did a poll in 2017 and found that 61 per cent of women believe in love at first sight, while 72 per cent of men do. These surveys focused on heterosexual relationships.How men change when they meet the one? ›
Their Body Language Changes
Caleb Backe, a health and wellness expert for Maple Holistics, tells Romper by email that some men change their body language a bit after they realize they've met the one. You can tell that they're more comfortable being themselves and reacting to things and expressing themselves sincerely.
He texts, calls, chats with you all the time
One of the signs he has strong feelings for you is when he constantly tries to communicate with you. He checks on you by texting or calling you. He would even chat or text you when he wakes up, letting you know that you're the first one he thinks about upon waking up.
Compliment him often
It Is not just women, but even men love compliments. If your man looks good on a certain day, compliment him. If he did something to help you with household chores, appreciate him for this. It will boost his confidence.
- Observe their body language.
- They pay attention to you.
- Eye contact.
- They make time for you.
- They quickly apologize when they offend you.
- They don't say much.
- They are afraid.
He won't play games but will give you a clear sign of how he feels. He will talk about his feelings and won't make big decisions without your input. He will prioritize your well-being over material possessions. He will be sure you feel comfortable around his friends—a guy likes to show off his woman if he loves her.How do guys get emotionally attached? ›
He introduces you to his loved ones. When a guy introduces you to his loved ones, an emotional attachment has been established. Not all men are comfortable introducing their love interests to their family and friends. However, if a man does this, it is because he wants them to accept you.How many days a man falls in love? ›
The average time for men to fall in love is 88 days, while those same feelings of true love take women 134 days. Another dating site, Elite Singles, did a poll in 2017 and found that 61 per cent of women believe in love at first sight, while 72 per cent of men do. These surveys focused on heterosexual relationships.What are the symptoms of real love? ›
- You feel safe with them. ...
- They listen. ...
- They acknowledge your differences instead of trying to change you. ...
- You can communicate easily. ...
- They encourage you to do your own thing. ...
- You trust each other. ...
- They make an effort. ...
- You know you can collaborate or compromise.
He encourages you
No one encourages you more than a man who knows his heart belongs to you. Your business becomes his, and everything that concerns you concerns him. He will consistently encourage you to try new things, accomplish new goals, and motivate you when you feel like giving up.
It might seem far-fetched to wind up in a situation like that, but it does happen. Guys don't always know they are in love – and that's the truth. If you want to know what's going on and you can't wait for him to catch up to his feelings, here are some secret signs to look for in his behavior.